Saturday, February 13, 2010

Do We Know Our Young Generation?

As the times and social trends are changing, some significant effects are bound to occur in our lives. Here's one small picture to just have an idea.
A shocking trend is sweeping across educational institutions in the UAE and other parts of the world. It’s called same-sex relationships and it’s worrying officials and parents no end. A number of students, school employees and others confided in XPRESS that inappropriate intimacy among girls is on the rise on campuses. Homosexuality is prohibited in the UAE and violators face stiff punishment. Authorities are trying to curb deviant behaviour to better reflect the traditional conservative laws of the UAE.  ~ Gulf News- February 11, 2010.

What motivated me to write something about this is, being a mom and a responsible teacher, I think this issue should not be taken lightly by the parents as well as school authorities. 

The Social Gap
One of the main reasons of such strange attitudes of our youth is the social gap between the two main segments of  our society, parents and children, which is widening day by day. The reasons are obvious. Today’s commercial world and expensive living leaves everyone looking for more venues for earning. People are striving hard not only to make ends meet but to stay ahead in now common race of being “having-it-all”. Mothers are also taking strides to grab any available opportunities to assist the whole family financially. 

Parents & Schools
What is not at all considered is the time of the children spent in their schools, and their learning process. It is sometimes very shocking in Parent-Teachers Meetings, to see the unspoken distance between the parents and their children. It looks like that they both are living in different worlds and don’t grasp each others’ language, sometimes not even looking at each others’ faces.
 The usual scene is like that the parent seems worried about the child’s performance  while the child is just sitting or shrugging his shoulders, as if it is all about someone else. Worse is the case of single parents or the ones having conflicts in their domestic lives. One can easily trace out the whole story from their faces. The boy would be looking elsewhere, if nothing of such sort matters to him  and the girl would be quiet or down with some sense of ‘being  a misfit’ or ‘shame’ on her part. The idea is quite evident in both the cases that as no one bothers about them so do they…

Alternative Life styles
I wouldn’t and never try to poke into their personal lives but it is alarming to think about the consequences each of them as well as the society is going to face with such a trend… And here comes the notion of ‘Alternative lifestyles” (as mentioned in the above article from Gulf News), a new arena, which is almost unknown to their elders, where their kids can be at full liberty to live as  they like. The chances of being caught and frowned upon are slim too. No one can force girls not to make friends with other girls and same is the case with boys.

Where is traditional love and affection gone?
Lately, an important feature has been seen missing from our society ...the love and affection of parents towards their children. Being busy in their professional and domestic lives is taking toll on the social behaviour of their children. 
The responsibility lies on the parents to spend some quality time with their kids. They shouldn't  be made to think that their parents don’t know ( or are not bothered about) what they are upto. 

What can be done? 
Remember, they are still kids and you have much more experience of life than them. See your children as a reflection of yours and get to know the deep secrets, they are holding back in their hearts.  The best way is to talk to and befriend with their friends. 

Wake up that innocent or mischievous child in you, who wanted to enjoy the life to its fullest but the time and responsibilities didn’t let it happen. Try to get closer to them so much so that  they  don’t look elsewhere but you ,to confide their little secrets  with, like being ignored or mocked upon by a classmate, or being sad or confused why not to wear a certain dress or stilettos in  a school party?

Tell them your experiences what happened when someone did something wrong and later in life how he / she suffered. Also how to overcome such problems. Even some stories can be ‘cooked’ just to convince them. After all , you are doing this for their betterment.

Parents have to bring a change in their own life styles  to be close to  their children. Otherwise, these children of today , having all sorts of options open, living in a borderless world of internet and media, will adopt a life style of their own choice. 

The future is in our hands bestowed upon us by God. Its our duty to do everything to make it better and brighter. Lets start it today !!


  1. Thanx for Sharing...

    its amazing how things have moved... its an alarm of things yet to come... we still have not reached at the point of no return...

    awareness and knowledge is the key to best decisions... may Allah help us decide the rights from wrongs...

  2. The rapid growth of the electronic media means that communication within households is becoming rare. I agree with your point that more communication within the family is critical in today's world than it has ever been in the past. Well said!!

  3. Man this mystery is one tough cookie to crack ... good write up

  4. much more bad will happen in near future that we can't imagine. Islam is only the way of life that we already neglected in our's daily life. don't blame to anyone, sad to say but these are the result of our deeds, in easy words we can say, Its nothing but just a wait to doomsday...

  5. First of all, this is not something new. Its happening in the West since decades and even in Pakistan we have heard of such activities in education institutions of urban area, especially Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad. Although our media has not brought it up, as Gulf News did.

    While you have summed it up very nicely, I would just like to reiterate that, in my perception, the core issue is that we, as a society, have gone way too materialistic. Every individual and house-hold, is in race with other, to earn more so as to show off more.

    In most cases, both parents work to share the cost of living(so far more common in UAE than in Pakistan), leaving the children to nannies, baby sitters, and day-schools. Usually, the children who go for "alternative life style" are those who have not got full attention of one or both of their parents during their development years.

    Unfortunately there is not much counseling available in Pakistan for either the parents or the teachers to cope with such situations. Schools usually push such incidents under the carpet, fearing this may dent their reputation. Parents, on the other hand, go berserk try to force their kid out of this, usually ending up in violence or life-long misery.

    Finally, the solution is in adhering to our religion and take guidance from it. Some links I came across recently are:

  6. As a considerate teacher and mother, your concern is very much genuine. But your analysis and solutions give a hint that at least your own kids and students will benefit from your guidance and will not indulge in such "friendships". But this is just one of the spirtual and moral ailments of our times and price for keeping ALLAH and HIS divine guidance as a low priority in our preferences. The moral decay in our society is result of that and brought chaos in all spehers of our lives. The need of time is not political or economic leaders but social reformers who can put us back on right track. Otherwise, all solutions are known but will stay ineffective as they are so far. The real peace in our lives and world can not be realized until we place ALLAH in HIS right position. #1 in our Life! If money and pleasure are #1 & #2 on our life charts, then we should learn to be content with the demerits of "the package where ALLAH is not our #1 GUIDING FORCE". The mankind will stay lost in chaos of all types until not decide to sincerely follow the DIVINE GUIDANCE.

    Nonetheless, I appreciate your concern and providing an opportunity to ponder on causes of our "unhealthy lifestyle". This was just one of the many we have but solution to all is - Return to path of ALLAH. The muslims were supposed to be role model by practicing this Divine Guidance and show the world the real life virtues but alas we have not done our assigned role and fallen from grace which was promised for Muslims - the people on Right Modest Path. But we should at least practice it in our own lives and keep on spreading the word - not by mere words but by our actions. Let people see the benefits and follow it for their own benefit.

    Good work Rumaisa - on the footsteps of your great grandfather.

  7. I am not so shocked as this things has been around for quite some time.It's just that this was all very discrete once upon a time and parents had no idea what their kids were up to. It is shocking to see this sort of behaviour at such a young age especially since this is the age when young minds start developing. It all comes down to the parents who have to teach their kids between right and wrong. They have the responsibility of telling them about these things at an early age so their kids wont make such a mistake. This is the best way to nip it in the bud before their children go through a major permanent lifestyle change. There is nothing embarrassing about parents talking to their children. Parents only have themselves to blame if they can't get things right.

  8. Dear Rumaisa,
    Our 'instant' generation, being brought up in the 'instant' times of every response available at the push of the button, needs 'instant' parents too! Who are responsive, attentive and not judgemental. Communication gap with the child is the key issue really.

    Your blog with its thoughtful content makes it so much easier to come back for more! Well done and please keep writing...

  9. Thank you all for giving very insightful and appreciative comments... I just remember that its 'Little Things' in life that can bring about a BIG change in our lives.. So our misiion should continue, to make our lives better... Thanx once again :)

  10. You talk about something very pertinent and important in today's world. A good up-bringing certainly makes it a lot easier to handle children as they grow up. However, the world has a lot of evil waiting to pounce upon them and you can never be trustful of anyone or anything. Better communication between parents and children is one of the most important deterrents.

    Good post.

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  12. Good one but feels thirsty. Need another post and you need to be more open that time. Thanks.